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meetings:2023-06-25

June 25, 2023

Present: Graham(minutes), Bumblebee(new person), Bernard, Catherine, Philip, Jennifer, Leah, Chinhae, Cayla, Quinn, Will, Stormie, Len, Carol(new person), Logan, Nynka, Paul, Kate

Meet and Greet

Bumblebee - 1st meeting
Carol - 1st meeting

Review of Minutes

Minutes from June 18th pass

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Agenda Item 1

(Quinn) Discuss Will Widener being on property: Will Widener, a banned person from the property, has been on property this week. We should discuss legal recourse to protect our community. It may be also relevant to note that he has been going through lengths to try to contact me lately despite me being no-contact with him, hence part of my concern.

Quinn: Will was banned and he wasn’t around for a couple months, but he has been invited onto the property. I know we have to let people do what they want in their unit, but considering the circumstances we should see what our options are. He has repeatedly tried to contact me on the phone, and other ways he has changed numbers several times to try to contact me

Bernard: we banned him so why he is still around?

Cayla: we can call the police if we see him. You should record yourself telling him he’s not aloud on the property, this legally counts as telling him he is not allowed here so that he is now trespassing. Quinn can try to get Will not to contact him.

Stormie: I talked to Cory, he advised me to talk to Daniel Miller. I emailed him and he said we can tell someone they are banned, that is within the rights of the coop. I want to have a meeting with Leo and let him know Will is banned and its not okay having him around. If people see him inviting Will in, he can be member reviewed.

Quinn: If Phil sees him does this count as people seeing him on the premises?

Bernard: Phil, are you comfortable with having Will around?

Phil: No, not really,

Stormie: myself and two other officers will host this meeting. Hopefully recorded and Graham doing the minutes. Calling and getting a record of trying to remove him can help

Bernard: Leo is due for a member review anyway because he knows Will was banned

Chinhae: Phil let us know Will was there as soon as he saw Will was there. He was not happy about it, he came out to tell us about it.

Quinn: The problem was we didn’t confront the issue of him going right into a unit.

Stormie: at the time there wasn't any contest over whether or not Phil had any problem with Will being there

Quinn: one of the things on the agenda is a member review of Chris, I remember doing the member review instead of the behavior contract, so then what is our recourse when someone is doing some behavior that we can’t police. In this situation its not an appropriate behavior, we should go to member review.

Leah: bringing someone around who is banned can be considered harassment and bullying which is a violation of the contract

Cayla: we can’t police people bringing someone into the unit

Phil: I see him there late at night, I had some words with him, let him know I wasn't happy about what’s going on

Chinhae: Phil tells me that Leo is cooking Phil's food and giving it to will. This is not cool.

Stormie: we can talk to him and handle it that way, or do a member review, these are the options

Bernard: we need to do this properly, member review is the next step in our system

Quinn: I would like to do a straw pole to see who wants at least a member review - most hands go up

Bernard: we need to post it on the door, and do it right because a straw pole right now doesn’t do much

Leah: Straw pole here is just for gathering information, we should do the talk with Will first

Quinn: Was trying to see if we should do a behavior contract

Leah: I think the question is if we should do a member review

Stormie: reads Daniel Millers email again.

Len: there needs to be a conversation with Leo first

Leah: we should do the meeting so he knows what’s going on with everything

Stormie: we should talk to him so he knows it’s not cool to have him around and do a member review if he brings him around again

Agenda Item 2

(Logan) Member review for Christopher: Back in late April/early May, Christopher had a mediated meeting address his issues with respecting boundaries in regards to other members. These things include: -Making transgender people uncomfortable -Insisting on interacting with people that have expressed discomfort with him and hovering around them. -Touching people inappropriately without consent -making judgmental and unwanted comments towards others about their lives, lifestyles, and bodies. -Guilted Roommates into disposing of their possessions.

Since being confronted about this, this behavior has returned and in some cases gotten worse. There are also past words, jokes and actions that members would like to speak about at the meeting.

Bernard: is he aware of this meeting?

Logan : yeah he saw it

Leah: reads the member review

Logan: Making transgender people uncomfortable and criticizing people’s bodies go hand in hand. He pops into conversations with no respect towards what is being talked about. Chinhae and some friends were talking about gender identification, he was asking why people would want to change themselves, basically saying that being transgender is weird. He called other native people savages for f*cking on the beach. Concerning comments about peoples bodies, he is uncomfortable that I haven’t had top surgery, he thinks its gross and weird that I have t*ts as a man. He has asked out of nowhere multiple times when I’m getting my b*obs cut off. Concerning making people uncomfortable, he has said offensive stuff and people asked him to leave but he would still hang around and be weird. He approached Phoenix outside of Phoenix’s apartment, Phoenix asked him to not hang around here, please leave. He moved closer and asked why people were being so hostile.

Chinhae: he lurked by the staircase eavesdropping when people were talking and making them uncomfortable

Logan; About touching people without consent, he asked multiple people including a guest, if he can touch their hair, but he will grab the hair aggressively, making it sexual. When he did it with a friend of mine he said people don’t like this, it makes people uncomfortable. He has awareness that it makes people uncomfortable but still does it.

Nynka: he was very aggressive when he did my eyebrows, I have never been handled like that with a cosmetologist.

Logan: about judgmental statements about bodies, he will talk about how I’m doing everything in my life wrong, and that I’m a selfish f*cking loser, saying you have to live this way and do this or that. He complains about my bedroom not being clean even though he’s not allowed int there, he got angry about me not having citizenship, saying I have it easy because a could be at the ice camps. I know that and it helps nothing except to make me uncomfortable. He gets mad I’m not a citizen and don’t have money. He will say out of nowhere “you're f*cking ugly”. He said I look like a dog, like ugly and dumpy. I tied to play it off like a joke, but he was insistent that I was an ugly dog.

Chinhae: he tells me he is scared of what I look like and doesn’t know what to think about me

Logan: he has some knowledge that people don’t like this behavior. This is just the stuff off the top of my head

Nynka: he denied this in the meeting, but he has shown favoritism towards me, which makes me uncomfortable. He is very mean to Logan but overly nice to me.

Logan: he make up a story that I came home drunk and got in a big fight, this did not happen

Bernard: he came here before with Jill, he acted erratically at a party. I was skeptical, but we wanted to give everyone a fair chance, but now all this stuff is coming up. We already had mediation, he already knows what he’s doing is wrong, what use is a behavior contract?

Logan: about guilting people into throwing away their possessions, there was some mold in a rice cooker, he insisted that I throw the whole thing out. I didn’t want to, but he repeated “you’re going to throw this out” many times.

Nynka: He wanted to throw away the microwave, but I wouldn’t let him, we just cleaned it. He threw away the toilet brush without asking

Quinn: about my own grievances, Ive heard the horror stories, I don’t want Logan and Nynka to live with that. He touched my hair inappropriately, he asked at first but he was super aggressive, he jammed his thumb in my eye. That night he was playing favorites with Radish and I, he treated two other couples like that too. I was telling a story about a friend that started treating me and my friends poorly, he jumped in and said ”I hope he gets r*ped”. I asked him why he would make a joke like that, he downplayed it. I asked again and he said ”you’re really pretty”, I avoided Chris, I tried to remove myself if he’s around. He kept trying to get us near each other. He asked multiple people to get me to be friends with him

Will: we played chess once and he said you should know, I’m a r*per. He said during DCU that he shot his girlfriend. This might be an attempt at shock humor but its not funny

Logan: he did the hair thing with a friend and said I could r*pe you

Chinhae: he tried to excuse his behavior by saying he has been through this stuff but that’s not okay

Len: this is bullying and threats, he hasn’t been mean to us, but this needs to be addressed

Leah: If everyone has said their piece, we are moving to the straw pole

No action: no votes
Behavior contract: nearly unanimous
For eviction: All hands up

Leah: we are having a written vote. Write down YES to evict, write down NO to not evict

The results are unanimous YES votes. - member will be served a notice to vacate

Leah: concerning the timeframe, 30 days is standard

New business

None

meetings/2023-06-25.txt · Last modified: 2023/06/27 02:33 UTC by grahamw